


Saudade

by JuniorKPOP



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blood, Blood and Injury, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, seungbin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 01:55:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20940374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuniorKPOP/pseuds/JuniorKPOP
Summary: Seungmin lived in a world where each person had a phrase tattooed on their body from birth, this phrase was what connected you to your soulmate, it was how you learned that a certain person was your true love. Seungmin’s tattoo was located on his forearm and said: ‘That’ll be ₩11,520.’ Every time Seungmin ordered something at a restaurant, cafè, or anywhere else his heart started pounding until he received his total but it was never the same amount that was written on his arm. All his life people had constantly asked him about his mark, what it said, had it been said yet, is he excited to hear it said. Seungmin never understood why soulmate marks were such a big deal until he heard the words spoken to him.





	Saudade

Seungmin lived in a world where each person had a phrase tattooed on their body from birth, this phrase was what connected you to your soulmate, it was how you learned that a certain person was your true love. Seungmin’s tattoo was located on his forearm and said: ‘That’ll be ₩11,520.’ Every time Seungmin ordered something at a restaurant, cafè, or anywhere else his heart started pounding until he received his total but it was never the same amount that was written on his arm. All his life people had constantly asked him about his mark, what it said, had it been said yet, is he excited to hear it, things like that. The constant questions annoyed him to no end, he hated having his mark in such an obvious place. He wished his mark was in a place more easily hidden like Jisung, his best friend since elementary school, who’s mark was located on his hip, easily hidden by clothing. Once Seungmin turned 15 he started wearing sweaters and long-sleeved shirts more, extremely lucky that the sweaters fit with his ‘cute, innocent puppy’ look as Sungie called it. The questions since then were fewer and less often. 

It had been four months since Seungmin had started uni and he had found he didn’t miss home as much as he expected he would. Seungmin actually was enjoying university so far, sure the workload was heavy and he was poor as fuck but, he had Jisung with him(He was sure best friend was stalking him at this point), and his roommate, Hwang Hyunjin, had introduced Seungmin to his friends so college life wasn’t lonely. The hectic schedule had made him go completely crazy at first but now he relied on Bambam and Minho, Hyunjin’s friends who were 3rd years, to help him keep on track with studying. They had pretty much become his safe space and Seungmin was very grateful to them. They were actually the reason he was currently sat in a library off-campus trying not to scream out loud and aggressively tugging on his hair, hoping that maybe the pain would restart his brain cells. It, in fact, did not, all it ended up doing was adding a massive headache to the list of reasons he hated studying, other than the fact it just made him feel stupid because he understood  **nothing ** he was reading. 

“Hey, you okay?” A voice asked f behind Seungmin, making him jump. He turned around and let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding when he saw Chan’s face smiling at him.

“Jeez hyung, make a noise next time. You scared me.” Seungmin said, dramatically placing a hand over his heart like he was about to faint. 

“Sorry Minnie, I was over there with BamBam and heard you mutter something like ‘I want to be euthanized.’ so I was a bit concerned.” Chan said, pointing to the silver-haired boy leaning against one of the bookshelves. 

“I’m fine Chan hyung. Just studying and apparently my brain chose today to shut down.” Seungmin groaned, banging his head on the table. 

“Well, the library is closing in like 5 minutes anyways so how about you go somewhere more comfortable? Like your dorm?” Chan asked. Seungmin rolled his eyes at Chan.

“Can’t do that, Jeongin is at the dorm with Hyunjin. Do not wanna be there right now.” Seungmin explained.

“Felix’s dorm?” Chan tried.

“Jaemin, Chenle, and Renjun are over there. Not a studying atmosphere.” 

“Minho?”

“With Jisung.” 

“Okay, what about Bambam?” Chan asked, clearly on the verge of giving up.

“Where do you plan on going after the library, hyung?” Seungmin asked sarcastically.

“Oh...right.” Chan said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, what about a cafè?” 

“I think I’m just going to quit studying and stay at Jihoon hyung’s dorm for the night.” Seungmin decided, packing his stuff up. “I can feel my brain melting right now.” Chan nodded, agreeing it was a good choice to stop for the night. 

“See you later, Minnie!” Chan waved, headed back to BamBam who was now chatting with Hansol and Seungkwan. Seungmin sighed as he headed out of the library and to Jihoon’s dorm. 

————————————————————————

Seungmin spent the next few hours planning out hundreds of different ways to murder Felix and his friends without leaving a trace, all of which were sounding more and more reasonable as the boys across the hall  **continued** to scream and party well into the night.  _ If I have to hear Chenle’s hellish dolphin screech  _ ** _one more time_ ** _ I am going to go over there and duct tape all of their mouths shut.  _ No matter how much he tried to tune them out, they still managed to be louder than all his techniques. 

You see, Seungmin had forgotten in the midst of trying to find a nonPG13 rated room to stay in, that Jihoon hyung’s dorm was directly next to Felix’s and that the walls in the building were thinner than paper. Around 1am, also known as the 4th repeat play of Fancy by Twice, was when Seungmin genuinely was looking for duct tape when suddenly all the noise coming from the dorm stopped. Seungmin thought maybe they had just paused for a bit but then when 1:15 rolled around and there was still no noise Seungmin cheered in his head.  _ FINALLY, I can SLEEP.  _ Seungmin would never be able to understand how Jihoon managed to sleep through all that.

————————————————————————

Seungmin was an absolute zombie the next morning. He hadn’t gotten to sleep until 2am because of Felix(he made a mental note to plan his revenge) and Jihoon had woken him up at 6am because he had a morning class and couldn’t leave a key with Seungmin because he had given his spare key to Soonyoung so he could come over if he wanted. Seungmin made sure to give him a nice Lenny face, which resulted in a punch to his bicep before he left. 

Seungmin’s original plan was just to head back to his dorm and hope Jeongin had left, although that was extremely unlikely. Luckily he didn’t have to deal with Jeongjin because Wong Lucas texted him inviting him to go to some cafè he’d never heard of. He wanted to decline, head to his dorm, climb into his bed, and blast some Day6 through his earbuds. However, Seungmin knew that if he said no, Lucas would most likely hunt him down and force him to go anyways, so he agreed. Pulling his backpack back over his shoulder and yawning he headed off to the cafè, agreeing to meet Lucas there. He reached the cafè, nearly bumping into someone as he walked in, and sat down at a random table waiting for Lucas.  _ I am  _ ** _so _ ** _ tired.  _

“Seungmin!” The voice said, getting louder as whoever was speaking got closer. “Hey! How are you man?” Seungmin groaned at the loud voice. Being this tired was very similar to a hangover and Lucas was  **very ** loud.

“Hey, Lucas hyung.” He responded unenthusiastically. “What’s up?” 

“Not much. Haven’t hung out with you in a while and wanted to catch up.” Lucas said, his speaking level always seeking to be at most other peoples shouting level. “You wanna get some coffee? I see you don’t have any yet.” Seungmin groaned, he did like Lucas, but it was moments like this that reminded him why he was the kind of friend you did  **not ** hang out with early in the morning.

“Yeah sure, let’s go.” Seungmin stood up out of his seat and followed Lucas to the counter. Lucas told the guy his order and Seungmin’s as well as he already had it memorized, which Seungmin was grateful for, he wasn’t in the mood to talk to people. Just as the boy was about to tell Lucas the total the boy gasped. 

“Crap! I forgot Jungwoo and I made plans for this morning!” Lucas sighed slapping his forehead. “Woo is gonna  **kill ** me. You can have both of the coffees! Bye!” Seungmin just gaped at him as he ran off.  _ He didn’t even PAY?!  _ Seungmin sighed angrily as he took out his wallet.  _ Now I have to pay for  _ ** _two _ ** _ coffees. One of which I’m not even going to drink.  _

“That’ll be ₩11,520.” The cashier spoke when Seungmin finally got his wallet out. Seungmin looked up at the boy wide-eyed.  _ Did-Did he just say what I think he did?  _

“I, um, could you-“ Seungmin got cut off by a loud  BANG and was knocked off his feet. Seungmin was seeing stars and could hear a ringing in his head as he sat up, his head felt like someone hit him with a brick and he felt a massive pain in his leg. He felt something wet on his head and reached up to see what it was, his fingers were red as he pulled his hand away.  _ Oh my god, was that a bomb? What the fuck? No, stay calm Seungmin. That couldn’t have been a bomb. Check if anyone else needs help. Check on the cashier.  _ Seungmin did his best to stand up, fighting against the sharp pain in his leg as he did so, and looked for the cashier. He eat out a small sigh of relief when he saw him on the floor a few feet away from where he himself had landed. The relief quickly turning back to panic as he saw the relatively large pool of blood near the boy. He quickly sat down next to the boy and scooped him into his arms. 

“Hey, you’re gonna be okay.” Seungmin said, thinking of nothing better to say as he felt the boy’s blood slowly coat his hands which were now wrapped around his torso. “Look at me, you’re gonna be just fine okay? Can you hear me?” Seungmin tried his best to show a reassuring smile when the boy weakly nodded in response. “Good. Just stay awake for me okay? Keep your eyes open for me.” The boy nodded again and Seungmin tried his best to keep himself calm even though he was feeling quite dizzy himself. “Don’t worry, you’re going to be okay.” Seungmin repeated, doing everything he could to comfort the boy in his arms. “You’re going to be oka-“ Seungmin stopped speaking as he felt the boy go limp in his arms. He felt tears prick the corner of his eyes when he saw the boy’s hand, which had fallen opens, with the phrase ‘You’re going to be okay.’ scrawled across it in tiny bold letters, just the same way Seungmin had his.  _ But I didn’t even get a chance to know him.  _ Seungmin felt a tear fall down his cheek as the world went dark. 

————————————————————————

Seungmin woke up and felt a warm weight on his lap. For a second his heart soared, until he opened his eyes and saw that is was Jisung sprawled across his lap and not the beautiful boy from the cafè. He looked around, seeing all his friends asleep in the chairs around the hospital room he was in. Seungmin was sure that the majority of said chairs were brought in from elsewhere. He looked back down at Jisung and smiled at his best friend, he could always count on Sungie to be there during rough times. Past Jisung, Seungmin saw his leg raised and held in a cast.  _ So I  _ ** _did_ ** _ break it when I landed… _ He carefully reached a hand to his head, trying not to wake Jisung, and felt a bandage there.  _ What even happened in that cafè?  _ Seungmin decided he needed answers. 

“Jisung?” Seungmin called softly. “Sungie?” He tried again when the bot didn’t wake. “Han Jisung!” He shook him as he spoke, growing annoyed at his friend. 

“5 more minutes Minnie. I’m tired” Jisung grumbled before suddenly lifting his head, nearly knocking it into Seungmin’s chin. “Wait, Minnie? You’re awake?” Jisung nearly shouted. Seungmin could see tears forming in his eyes. 

“Don’t worry Sungie. I’m okay. I’m safe.” Seungmin smiled, trying to comfort the boy. It didn’t work. 

“Oh my god, I was so worried.” Jisung broke down, resting his head against Seungmin’s chest as sobs racked his body. “It’s been 3 days since the e-explosion and you hadn’t woken up.I thought I lost you.” Jisung spoke the last part barely above a whisper. 

“I’m right here Jisung, right here in front of you.” Seungmin told him, softly caressing the boy’s hair to try and calm him down. “I’m okay.” Jisung nodded against Seungmin’s chest, he could feel the wetness from Jisung’s eyes soaking through his hospital gown. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Jisung smiled as he calmed down. “Let me wake up the others okay?” Seungmin nodded but all he could think about was that boy from the cafè, the boy he held in his arms until he passed out. Seungmin knew that it was unlikely that boy had made it, he said the phrase that had been on Seungmin’s arm. That stupid mark, dooming him to sadness ever since he was born. He knew he couldn’t be okay. Yet some part of him, some crazy hopeful part, tried to convince him that the cashier, his soulmate, was fine. That he was safe and sound in one of these rooms just like Seungmin, surrounded by loved ones. 

“Hey, Seungie.” Seungmin heard Chan call to him, pulling him out of his thoughts. “How do you feel?” 

“I feel okay Chan hyung. Pretty good considering I was nearly blown apart.” Seungmin laughed, trying to lighten the mood. He couldn’t handle all his friends looking at him like this, with pity in their eyes, like he was a fragile doll that could break if you said the wrong words. 

“Do you need anything?” Bambam piped in from his chair. 

“No hyung I'm good for now.” Seungmin reassured him. “Thank you though.” Bambam nodded and the room fell into silence again. No one knew what to say. How do you comfort someone who just went through what Seungmin did? Nobody in the room was sure on how to begin until Seungmin broke the silence. 

“Hyungs?” Seungmin asked looking at Bambam and Chan, who nodded to show they were listening. “Do you know what caused the explosion?” Chan and Bambam looked at each other, clearly trying to decide whether or not to tell Seungmin before Chan spoke. 

“It was a gas main break. Apparently there was gas leaking and no one noticed. When they started the ovens in the back there was a spark and…well you know the rest.” Seungmin nodded solemnly and took a deep breath before asking the question he truly wanted the answer to. 

“The boy who worked at the café, I don't know his name but...is he okay?” Chan and Bambam didn’t answer him, choosing to stare at the floor instead. Seungmin should’ve taken that as the answer but he couldn’t. No answer meant a little bit of hope. A little bit of hope that maybe soulmate marks didn’t always mean what everyone said they did. A little bit of hope that Changbin was alive. “Hyungs? Someone? Please tell me.”

“His name was Seo Changbin,” Hyunjin said from his chair in the corner. “and no, he’s not okay. He was already dead when the paramedics arrived. I’m sorry Seungmin.” That is what broke him, that was all it took for the dam to break and the tears to flow. He knew, he  **knew ** there was no way the boy,  ** _Changbin_ ** , could be okay. But some part of him hoped that he could cheat fate, cheat destiny, cheat those stupid soulmate marks but of course he couldn’t. That’s the way the world worked. The last words your soulmate would ever tell you were tattooed onto you since the moment you were born and there was no way to change your fate. 

“Seo Changbin.” Seungmin whispered to himself as his tears fell. “ **My ** Changbin.” 

_ ~It’s one thing to lose your soulmate and know too late but it’s something much crueler to never have known them at all.~ _


End file.
